If you’ve been in the wedding or photography industry for any amount of time, chances are you’ve heard people talk about finding “ideal clients” a lot. These magical forest unicorns are going to catapult you to new levels of success, happily pay your rate, and then refer droves of their friends who will do the same. There are endless questionnaires you can find online that prompt you to ask where your hypothetical ideal client would shop, what they eat, where they would hang out. I’ve even been to workshops with entire presentations devoted to finding ideal clients. And the advice I’ve heard for how to find them ranges from giving away free photoshoots to super stylish people to scouring wedding websites on Zola and The Knot to try to find leads.

And to a certain extent, I get it. As a business owner, who wouldn’t want to find and work with the perfect clients for them? But here’s where I may be about to make some people mad. I think most of the advice out there for how to find ideal clients misses the mark. Sure -it can be helpful to think about where your ideal client is likely to hang out or what they like so you can advertise to them more efficiently. But is someone who wears Free People dresses and likes to kayak REALLY your ideal client? It’s all just kind of surface level if we only consider these things.

I think a true ideal client is a lot simpler and more complex at the same time. An ideal client is someone who connects with the kind of work you truly love to do and wants to pay what you need to make. We can talk about what kinds of things they may be more likely to be interested in, but at the end of the day, I think the definition above is the main one we all need. I mean think about it – what is more important? That someone has a boho-chic personal style or that they want to hire you for work that truly lights you up and makes you feel fulfilled?

So how do we actually find our ideal clients? The answer may surprise you. Because here’s the thing. To find our ideal client we need to start thinking less about who they are and more about who WE are.

I want to take you back momentarily to 2019. Old Town Road was blaring from every radio station. We spotted a rogue Starbucks cup in that one episode of Game of Thrones. The first nightmare-inducing trailer for the new Cats movie had just dropped. What a time to be alive! I was in my fourth year of business as a wedding photographer and I was busier than ever. I was booking plenty of weddings and my clients were very kind, wore stylish clothes, had lavish decorations, and were the very definition of everything I had been told my “ideal clients” were. I was living the dream. But I was more burnt out and stressed than ever. That’s when I decided that I needed to look inward and hone in on the kind of work I truly wanted to do.

When I sat down, let go of the shallow definition of ideal clients that I had been told to follow, and thought about what I loved to do, I realized something important. The reason I was so burnt out is that what I love to do is approach wedding photography in a radically documentary way. I am far less excited about styling details and making everything look Instagram-worthy than I am about capturing wedding days as they really happen – empty coffee cups and plastic wedding dress hangers and all. I rebranded my website and messaging to showcase only the work that I wanted to make. Initially, it was scary to brand myself in such an unapologetic way and trust that my ideal clients would find me. But it was the path I needed to take to find my real ideal clients and book work that made me feel energized instead of burnt out.

Instead of thinking about who your ideal client is, think about who you are. You don’t need to adore shooting weddings in a documentary style like me, but you do need to figure out what you love to do and brand yourself unapologetically. What kind of work makes you the most excited and fulfilled? What photos in your portfolio do you love? Does everything about your brand and the work you showcase scream “THIS IS WHAT I LOVE AND I CAN DO IT FOR YOU!”. Because if it’s not screaming that loud and clear, it might be time to reevaluate. If you feel like it might be time to take stock of your business and find your true ideal clients, send me a message. I’ve been in your shoes and I’d love to talk about it with you.